For your amusement....

So.....

Me and Bill get out of the clink yesterday, right? Anyway, when you get out of the slammer, you get your own personalized parole officer. Ours is called John Pitralski. Boy, he didn't waste any time getting on our backs.

Me and Bill had just moved into a new (and dumpy, in my opinion) apartment, and we were on G-mail chat, minding our own business, when all of a sudden ... well, here, I'll just post the record of the chat for your, uh, edumacation. Just click on it to zoom in to the verbal fireworks.

Freedom!

Two days ago, our country celebrated its independence from Great Britain.

Today, my buddy Chris and I celebrate our independence from Hamilton County Jail.

But wait; my years behind bars must have dulled my etiquette. Please forgive me. Let me introduce myself. My name is Bill.

Bill

The Hamilton County Police Department kindly released my mug shot to me before I left, so I'm happy to be able to post it here. It always helps having a face to fit to a name, doesn't it?

My good friend and long-time cellmate is named Chris.

Chris

Having paid the price for our many crimes and misdemeanors, Chris and I return today to the outside world determined to leave our mark on society, this time in the cause of goodness and truth.

You'll have to excuse me now as I believe my parole officer is calling. Stay tuned, though, and Chris and I will do our best to make your life just that much better each day. At least one of those people we robbed back in the day was probably related to you anyway, so this is the least we can do in reparation. Just think of it as our little way of saying, "Golly, we're sorry."

Till next time ...